you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
