Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
