Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
