i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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