Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
