If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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