so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
