Porn is love you can see.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
