you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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