so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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