Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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