sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
