idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
