dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
