Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Everyone says I win the strip club
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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