everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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