i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
