Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Randomize
