did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
