Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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