it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
