What a fucking waste of an outfit
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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