One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
