Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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