it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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