I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
