I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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