So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
