sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
