Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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