I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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