if you like me you must not know who I am
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
so explain again why im purple
no
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
