I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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