SEEEEXXX PLEASE
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
