I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
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