i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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