When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
