I wish i was in the wii world.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
