Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
