Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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