Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
tell me about the fingering
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
