we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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