I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
