Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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