I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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