How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
