You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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