you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
