Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
