You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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